Pessimism Entry #1

There have been some concerns that I haven't been quite pessimistic enough since I have donned the title "PessmisiticPrince". And they may be right, the name was changed more out of lack of anything else available than the fact that I'm truly doom and gloom. I don't quite live up to it.

However, I still believe that I am quite the pessimist itself. It's not a lifestyle, it's an outlook. When a situation comes my way, my first thoughts revolve around "how could this go wrong." However, I don't dwell on this information, I use this information to better prepare myself to any situation that may arise. If I'm proven wrong, then I am pleasantly surprised at the fact. If things go wrong, then I am prepared to deal with the situation.

Just to give you a glimpse of how this works, I'm going to pull an example of what has occurred these past few weeks.

My car died. Now, I don't drive anything particularly great. It was an old ford taurus. When I got it, the transmission was going bad, the tires were near bald, and it leaked at least three different kinds of fluids. But it ran. It ran a good 2 years, more than I had ever bothered to keep any vehicle that long.

And I don't really baby my cars either. I have never owned a car that I have paid over $1,000 for, and I develop no real attachment to them. They are there for me to use, I'm not going to bother to waste my time and money on anything like "car washes" and "air fresheners" or "putting $125 to stop the radiator leak". No. I'll just dump more water in it and go to where I need to. When it dies, I'll get another one.

However the problem is, I knew what was wrong with it. The transmission was barely holding together and the engine couldn't take much more abuse, but I figured it would last me until winter. That was a rare case of me being an optimist, and I was soul-crushingly disappointed when I found out one morning that it just gave up the will to live. It started. It went 5 feet. It died. The end.

After looking into it, it was something electrical that has been a problem with the ford before. And like every car, it's never a simple fix. It could of been one simple $20 part, which I end up did trying to fix and replace. But it was no go, and every piece after that is almost double the cost. So I had no choice but to let her go, and move on. My parents are letting me borrow their truck to get to work.

But it couldn't have come at a worse time, really. I was expecting it to die sometime around November, so I had a savings plan where I'd have around $2,000 saved, but it caught me with only $400 in the bank. I'm normally a huge saver, but it wasn't much longer than 4 months ago I basically wiped out my entire savings attempting to save a friend from getting her car repo'd and keeping a roof over her head. (Also, said friend strangely vanished from my life the very next day, although I was expecting that.) So I was hurting monetary wise.

However, life wasn't all cruel, and I was able to pull some money very quickly, giving me about $800, good enough for what I had.

However, what I had didn't exist, and no matter where I turned I couldn't find much of anything. I spent the past 3 weeks looking at cars, and even at some of the major car lots, every care I have shown even a little bit of interest in has been a bust.

At least three cars that people swore up and down they worked, wouldn't even start. I think they thought I would be dumb enough to sign the title without checking the car I guess, or I have the midas touch, but everything I touch turns to shit. Either way, I can't drive something that's worse off than what I had.

So I tried going to a lot. Maybe I could even lease something or possibly make payments. I even found this nice little Hyundai for a little under $3,000. It had a little personality. Broken tail-light, scratched all to hell, a dent here and a ding there, but you know what? I don't mind that. In fact, I like that in a vehicle. I was almost set on it, but with only $800 to my name, I was going to have to do some dealing.

Now, I don't have the best credit. The fact that I pay cash for everything in my entire life doesn't really help. And the fact that I don't trust my money in a bank any more than I trust it by investing into volcano real-estate. But I was assurred that I could get something. However, the dealer was set on not selling me the Hyundai. He wanted me to buy a Civic for $6,000. Don't get me wrong, I love Civics. If I could find a Civic I would probably get one and might even change my ways, treat it nice, buy it a ring and never abuse it. But I don't even have $3,000 for this Hyundai and he's doubling my non-payable price. I politely decline. He won't budge on the Hyundai, and neither will I. I'm saying "I don't want to pay more than $3,000 for any vehicle." as am walking out the door, and before I leave, I was expecting him to finally break down.

"I'll sell you that car out there for $3,000." he says as he points to a Chrysler he just got on trade in. The owner's tags was still on it, and looking inside, there was still the owners crap in it.

"Listen, if you are willing to make me a deal on the Hyundai, call me Monday and we'll talk. Otherwise, sorry for wasting your time." Honestly, if he would of try to sell the Chrysler to me, I might have been more interested. But basically I felt like I was getting the nicest middle finger I ever seen.

So anyway, that was my first week. My second week of car hunting was a little bit more successful. A friend of an uncle had a saturn that he was wanting to get rid of. He bought a truck and the Saturn was just sitting. He was asking $1,200 for it, and I was going to go with it. Until it didn't start. However, my uncle knows a thing or two about cars, and he said he'd fix it up for me. I was still iffy as I didn't have the money to blow, but the friend said he'd pay for the repairs and just take it off the price tag after it was fixed. I had a car finally. This long chapter could come to a close.

Or... that's what it would do in a perfect world. As it turns out, it wasn't just a simple fix, it was the entire engine. It was blown. Whole car was basically worthless. So while I was out a car, I was thankfully not out any money. But I was still back to square one. I tried craigslist but any car I was interested was a little iffy ("Are you trying to sell me a unregistered car?") or straight up a joke. ("I know my ad says $800 or best offer, but my best offer was $1,400.") so I was not having any sort of luck that week either.

Which brings me to this week. There had been a few promising looks out in Mount Vernon. Although it's quite a distance, I was able to convince my step-father to go out there with me incase I decided to get something. I was really interested in seeing the $500 Cadillac they had.

Well, the Cadillac turned out to be ugly as sin. The hood was strapped down with a bungee cord. While it had it's own little charm, I wasn't sold that it would even get me home. The tires were bald and the car needed several things to make it street legal again, so I had to pass.

So I asked him if there was something else he might have in my price range. I was shown three cars. Car number one was a Neon. It looked really good for it's price point. $1,200 for a car with no scratches, little rust, a nice sporty look. Of course, my first question as a pessimist is "what's wrong with it?" Turns out, the car had a nasty tendency to to stall in mid-drive. "But it's probably just the idler, a really cheap and simple fix."

Now I heard all of this before. My patience of hearing that line from everyone was starting to irritate me, and since I was at a lot, I felt entitled to say "Well, you should fix it then, then maybe we can talk about it."

The other cars was a nice looking Cadillac DeVille. However, Premium Unleaded Only and a 16mpg for my 50 mile a day commute really made that a non-option. Looked at a few trucks, but it quickly become whatever he was selling was out of my price range, so it seemed like a day wasted.

So, next morning, my step-dad gets a call from the guy saying that it was just a simple gas leak on the Neon, and if they wanted it, I had to get it today or else they were going to raise the price by $1,000 and sell it.

Now, I'm not a very excitable person. So my enthusiasm was more than curbed at the offer. I also know how this game is played. They make you feel that you have to make a decision right away so you don't have time to think about what a stupid mistake you're making. Hell, I learned that from playing Scorpion enough in L5R. So, I had to politely pass on it. I'm sure the guy meant well but I really can't afford to take any risk on a vehicle at this point. If I got that thing and it turns out it wasn't road worthy or needed about $600 in it to really fix it, I was done.

However, my dad doesn't seem to share my logic or pessimism, and he went right out the door and bought the car for himself.

So, I go to my step-dad's house to find that nice red shiny car in his driveway. According to him, it runs perfectly, and it's a great car. I'm happy for him, I really am. I know there is a price to pay to be cautious. Sometimes you miss out on awesome things. You pass up on some very hot vagina because you are afraid it's carrying one to many STDs. You pass up on some delicious brownies because the person who made them might have added his own ingredients. And sometimes you lose out on a car because the people that sell them are slimy dirtbags. That's how life goes. I wasn't offended by it. I'll gladly eat my words if it brings about a better change.

But what do I know, I'm just a 24 year old that's negative about everything. My life would be ruined if my dad wasn't there to make all my important life decisions for me. So he takes pity on my retardedness and offers to sell me the car for exactly what he paid for it.

I still had a funny feeling about the car, but not wanting to offend, I said "give me some time to think about it, I just got off work and I'm tired." I would be happy if the car worked, but I'm a pessimist, I just assumed it wouldn't.

So later that night, we decided to take it out for a drive, see how it handled, etc. I noticed a few little things. Service engine light and the brake light was on, the gas pedal seemed a little light and loose, I couldn't smell anything over the cigarette smoke but thought I might of caught a whiff of some fluid, although it wasn't gas. But it seemed to worked out ok. I was actually thankful.

You know, until the car stalled out.

Right there, it had just died, much like my taurus, much like the man said it did. I could tell dad was pissed but he had to much pride to admit that my worries and concerns were validated. After a very frustrating ride home of it stalling out 12 times in complete silence, we get back to his house.

"I'll take it to the garage and get it fixed, and I'll sell it to you for what I paid for it plus what it cost to fix it..."

"Let me think about it."

"I need to know by tonight."

So I take the truck home, and get on the computer, curious just how much it would cost.

Apparently, the Neon is like the eMachines of cars, there was forums dedicated to the stalling issue. Not only that, but the numbers of what it could be and how no one knows how to fix it, and the numbers of $400, $800, $2,200 invested with no known cure.

When the time came for the dreaded phone call. "Sorry dad, I'm not interested in the Neon. It just seems like it will be too much for me."

Again, I could tell he felt betrayed. By whom, I don't know. Himself, the salesman, or me. I just know that bite of bride was almost to big for him to swallow. "Well, you need to get a car by the end of this week. -click-."

Now, I'm not saying this to rub it anyone's face. I am a pessimist because that's what my gut tells me. I assume the worst in everything, everyplace, everyone. And thankfully, most of the times I am wrong. However, it's even more difficult when you end up being right.