Partner Hunt: Week 3

Fission Mailed.

Well, I guess I still have another week left, but right now, my morale is crushed finer than sand on a beach right now.

Over the past three weeks, I have talked to several people, in hopes that one might be interested in some sort of relationship with me. I'm not looking for my next love, but rather someone who I might be able to spend time with, enjoy each other's company and play with on a occasional basis. I have tried many venues, many approaches, at least invested a couple of hours a day to this search.

During this, I have faced many challenges, attempting to overcome crippling shyness, actively pushing myself to do something I wasn't comfortable with doing. Meeting people I didn't already know. It has been a difficult journey, and now that we're at the last quarter, it's slowly becoming to the final stretch.

This week, the focus was on developing relationships with those I have been talking to lately. It has been a difficult road, with many conversations not really getting passed the 1st message, and few still getting past the 4th. However, there have been a handful of people that I've been talking too and I have been extremely interested in turning our relationship into something more tangible.

However, those kinds of people live a distance away. Columbus, Cleveland, Akron, Dayton. Distances I am comfortable driving too. I feel that I would need to at least see a partner at least once every two weeks, or have an extended visit at least once a month. Those are the criteria.

Well, fortunately, for me, there was one in Marion that has been really great. She's submissive and shy, but we seem almost like lost twins with our likes, dislikes, philosophies, almost a perfect match. We've been talking since week two and decided that we should meet up in person, and see where it takes us. She's smart, sexy, intelligent and laughs at my stupid jokes.

So, Today, at Tuesday @ 2pm, we were to meet at a restaurant. So me, being the eager little person I am, show up at 1:30pm. I wait. and wait. and wait. and wait. No sign of her anywhere. 2:00pm 2:15pm. 2:30pm. 2:45pm. 3:00pm. 3:15pm. It wasn't until 3:30pm that I finally gave up and decided to go home. I get online, hoping to find a message waiting for me telling me that she was abducted by aliens, or that she was actually the ghost of a dead lover trying to lure men to steal their souls, but she saw me and couldn't go through with it.

But nothing. I sent her a message at 4:00pm, and still haven't gotten a reply. I'm worried that something happened, but there is a part in my mind that knows better.

So really, I don't even want a partner anymore. I'm kind of hurt and sore about this, and not in the good way. I feel like becoming a monk at this point.

Now, I know it isn't like the only time I'll ever be able to be in a relationship. Even my friends have asked why I'm giving myself a time limit. Well, In september, it will be exactly two years since I last had sex. Again, not like I have to meet this deadline or my penis will fall off, but it was a challenge to myself.

All is not lost, however.

One bright side is that I'm currently under consideration of my mentoress to become her geek slave. This kind of happened haphazardly, as it wasn't really even in my mind at the time I started this. Even if it doesn't work out, it was an honor just to be nominated. That might be what I end up talking about next week.

For now, I'm just going to lay down, take a nap, and wonder why people have to be assholes sometimes.